A HOLE IN THE POCKET BY IBUKUN

A STORY.
A hole in the pocket

"Welcome dear, ah welcome ",Revs.(mrs.) Quaker welcomed her husband, Revd. Quaker
Revd. Bennett Quaker was a renowned man of God. He was the founder of The Begotten Son Bible Church. It was one of the largest denominations in the city. Indeed, the Lord moved mightily there!
He was just returning from a meeting of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), at which.strategies of moving the churches forward, were discussed. It was a seven day programme.
He got down from his chaffeur-driven Lexus, into the welcoming arms of his plump wife, Revs.(mrs.) Annette Quaker . He gave her a holy kiss, after saying, "The Lord blesshu "
Revs.(mrs.) Quaker was the founder of The Virtuous Women Ministries, a movement for building christian women
They then strolled, arm-in-arm, into their magnificently "humble home "He slouched into a love seat, his wife sitting next to him
A maid brought some Spaghetti Bolognese and Chicken Maryland, which he ravaged, downing it with some juice
After being refreshed, Revd. Quaker told his wife that they had been given an award as the Couple-of-the-year. He showed it to her and they were exceedingly glad!
Next, he told her that they had been invited to speak at a Singles 'summit, themed, "Living good, till you find your better half ", in another denomination., under CAN, the next Sunday. They should pray and prepare for it
The D-day came. Spinstrrs, bachelors,holy sisters, holy brothers, girlfriends,boyfriends, aristos,magas., baby mamas, baby papas, sugar mummies, sugar daddies,our not-so-straight folk and the rest of the list, swam in, in their thousands, to be under the ministration of the aimable couple-of the year.
The couple-of-the year had been married for twenty years. They had been blessed by God. Revs. Bennett Quaker 's ministry was likened to a pocket. The people, he was the spiritual father of, were likened to money. He was to keep the money well in his pocket. God had shown him that in a vision, shortly before he had begun his ministry
The fabulous couple-of-the-year treated the congregation to stories of how they were before they met, how they met and how they were solving marital challenges. They gave thrilling answers to questions on kissing, dating, wooing, sexing and any other relationship issue. It really promised to be an interesting hang'out!
They congregation was told to stay holy till the tantalising "wedding night "
And then, at a corner, at the back of the hall, Barbie Quaker, the nineteen year old offspring of the couple-of-the-year, began to vomit uncontrollably
A something thousand pair of eyes stopped watching her prestigious parents and turned to stare at her, as if she were giving her own ministration
How could the couple, who conducted their wedding in heaven, have a pregnant daughter?
As if to add icing to the mouth watering cake,a Delilah-looking woman walked up to Bennett and made to kiss him on the lips. She fumbled with her rump -long hair
"Bennett cookie, we were s 'opposed to be making love at Sheraton. I called your number, to no avail, only to see you preach on tv, at the hotel room. Come on, cupcake we have a date, remember? An ' I f 'give you, because you are sexy, you have done this over and over, next time, I will not let it slide, baby. Let 's go! "
She took his hand, trying to make him leave with her and smiling seductively. She waved at Revs.(mrs.) Annette Quaker sweetly, who looked like she was attending her own funeral!
The "congregation "become noisily silent... To be continued.